Yeah, this is the last thing to go tonight. I’ve had one hell of a weekend. Happiness, severe depression, love in it’s most natural state, etc. I’m deleting this blog. Everything along with it. All the memories that were on here, the good and the bad. I’m leaving it all, and yes I know this is the first post I’ve made in literal months, and if any of you cared to know how I was doing, well, I’d have had you around these several months. Life has not been better, with the only road bumps being my car wreck and my grandmother’s passing this Sunday. I’m sincerely glad to have found someone I can legitimately say is a match for me, to have an established group of close friends I can rely on, and to be living with my closest friend I’ve ever had the pleasure of having. It’s nice not having certain people in my life, but then, it also sucks that a friendship can end so suddenly and drastically. I’ve figured this out with a few people since the last post I made on here. God dammit, the memories I’ve made since last summer have been more than fantastic, and I can honestly say that these were the best times of my adult life, as short as that is. I’m finally going to college in the fall after much inner debate with myself as to what the hell I was going to do with my life, but now, things seem to actually be going straight. No more self loathing, bouts with anger, nor suicidal thoughts. Optimism has come in the form of a girl. And I love her dearly.
I’ve also become completely and utterly open with my religion, or lack thereof. It’s the most freeing thing I think I’ve ever done. It’s made me dictate my own decisions, live my own life, and keeping myself grounded in logic and human emotion rather than an ancient set of rules.
That being said, knowing my grandmother suffered for so long, only to wither away and die, I hope there’s a just god and a heaven for her to live eternally in. I really do.
I hope a few of my friends read this. I hope a few of the people who I’ve lost touch with read this. I hope I can keep the friends I have. I hope I reconnect with those lost. I just hope shit turns out as well as it sounds in my head.
I’ve grown a lot, lost a lot, and gained a lot more.
And I still hate Tumblr, with an ungodly passion, not because it’s a bad site, but for the memories that live on through it.
I’ve finally started anew.